Self hate

An epiphany in the car park.

The vicious cycle of our thoughts.

I must share a very important realization I had today with you.

The last few days, I have been feeling a bit tired, lethargic. I have been eating really well for the past two weeks and have taken a few supplements to help boost my energy levels.

I have slept well and have been exercising regularly but was still just feeling a little lethargic.

This morning, I went to the gym, as I usually do on a Tuesday morning. This morning I was training with a friend of mine and I just couldn’t keep up.

I got into the car after a shower and went straight into comparison….

“Why couldn’t I keep up?”

“What is wrong with me?”

Which lead to self-doubt and its friend self-hate….

“What is wrong with me?”

“I hate my body! It’s so useless”

Time to reflect

But I stopped it there and took a few deep breathes and decided to unpack it all.

Where was this coming from?

Is this true?

And do you know what I figured out?

I am in the winter of my moon time (or menstrual cycle, if you want to know more, check out Period Power by Maisie Hill).

I am hating on myself, pushing myself, feeling wrong about myself and my body when, if I listened, I would know that now is a time of rest, reflection and re-evaluation.

My workouts should be gentle and slow. My food should be grounding and nourishing.

I should be reaffirming myself and connecting with my intuition. I should be prioritizing myself!

Instead, I got myself into a cycle of negative thinking and self-loathing. And it happened SO quickly!

The book Period Power is on my recommended reads list because this book has had such a profound impact on my life.  Up until I read this book, I was working against my cycle, rather than with it. So much, of my own negative bullshit toward myself and my body could have been avoided if I knew what is taught in this book.

Imagine working with your body rather than in spite of it.

Imagine following the natural rhythms of your body and being in harmony with it.

Rather than forcing it, training it, co-ercing it. Being in wrongness of it.

Next time you are hating on yourself because your body isn’t doing what you expect it to, maybe stop and just re-evaluate where you are at in your cycle.

To find out more, I definitely recommend reading Period Power. In fact, I have told all my female friends about it and if they have daughters, I have urged them to read it for the sake of their children.