Rest Isn’t a Pause — It’s a Strategy
“You are worthy of rest.”
I used to believe that rest was something you earned — a reward you only got after everything else was done.
And because the work is never truly done…
I was always on. Always pushing. Always proving.
It makes me cringe a little to admit that, even as a coach who teaches recovery and nervous system safety, this has only recently become a lived truth for me. Rest, for so long, felt like laziness. An indulgence. A sign of weakness.
But I’ve learned, and am still learning, that rest isn’t a luxury.
It’s not a treat.
It’s not a pause.
It’s a strategy.
The Lies We’ve Been Told
As women, especially high-functioning, high-performing women, we’ve been conditioned to believe that rest is something we have to earn. That if we just do enough, prove enough, achieve enough, then maybe… just maybe… we’ll deserve a break.
But it’s a lie.
This programming runs deep — from society, from ancestral trauma, from childhood conditioning. We’ve been taught to be “good girls.” To please. To perform. To stay small.
And in the process, we’ve overwritten the signals of our own bodies.
What Happens When You Keep Pushing
In my work with women on the edge of burnout, I see a consistent pattern: They believe that if they just push a little more, they’ll get to rest.
But all that does is trap them in survival mode — the nervous system’s fight, flight, or freeze response. And when you’re stuck there long enough?
You burn out.
Emotionally.
Physically.
Spiritually.
You become a shell of yourself. A woman who “should be grateful” but feels empty, resentful, lost.
Redefining Rest
Rest isn’t just sleep. It isn’t just a weekend off or a spa day.
There are at least seven types of rest: physical, mental, emotional, sensory, creative, social, and spiritual.
Some women don’t need a nap — they need a moment of silence.
Some don’t need a break from work — they need a break from pretending.
Sometimes rest looks like saying no.
Sometimes it looks like dancing, doodling, or taking a breath.
Sometimes it looks like sitting in stillness and asking, “What do I need?”
One Simple Practice for January
Here’s where I invite you to begin: Look at your calendar this week — and schedule rest.
Not just once. Daily. Weekly. Monthly.
Try different things.
Journaling. Conscious breath. Gentle movement. Doodling.
Ask your body: What would feel nourishing right now?
And if you don’t know — that’s okay. Let rest be the place where you start to remember.
If You Feel Guilty Resting…
You’re not alone.
Most of my clients feel guilty about resting, not because they don’t need it, but because they don’t want to let anyone down.
But here’s what we explore together:
- What are your true priorities?
- Where are you spending time out of obligation, not alignment?
- Where can you ask for help, set a boundary, or release a role that isn’t yours?
You don’t have to earn your worth by sacrificing yourself.
A Gentle Invitation
If you’re reading this late at night — tears in your eyes, heart heavy with exhaustion — hear this:
“You are worthy of rest.“
Not when everything is done.
Not when you’ve finished proving yourself.
Not next week.
Now.
Plan for it. Prioritise it. Protect it.
Because rest isn’t a pause — it’s your comeback strategy.
