Shifting the Narrative: Asking for Help as a Strength, Not a Last Resort
The other day, I had an experience that highlighted the power of community and how we approach asking for help. I was teaching at a yoga festival when one of the other teachers fell ill, and the organizer asked me to step in and cover their class. Afterward, she thanked me, saying I had “saved her ass.”
This moment got me thinking about how we often view help as something only needed in a crisis. But what if we changed that narrative? Instead of waiting until we’re backed into a corner, what if we leaned into our communities and asked for support without guilt or shame?
This shift isn’t just for yoga festivals. It applies to any group or community you’re a part of, whether it’s your workplace, book club, parenting group, or circle of friends. The idea of “saving someone’s ass” suggests urgency—something we only do when things fall apart. But true community isn’t about waiting until there’s an emergency. It’s about being able to reach out and lend a hand as a natural, regular part of life.
If you’re someone who’s not used to asking for help outside of emergencies, here are some practical ways to start:
- Start Small: Begin by asking for help with low-stakes tasks. This could be asking a friend to join you on a quick errand or delegating a small task at work. It helps you ease into asking for help and shows you that support is available.
- Be Direct but Gentle: Try a simple request, like “Could you help me with this?” or “I’d appreciate your input on this.” Clarity and kindness go a long way in making the request feel natural.
- Express Gratitude, Not Apology: Instead of saying, “I’m sorry to ask,” try, “Thank you for being there.” This small shift emphasizes that you’re asking from a place of appreciation, not inconvenience.
- Frame It as an Opportunity to Connect: Asking for help is an invitation to deepen your relationships. Remember, when you allow others to help, you’re also offering them a chance to support and connect with you in a meaningful way.
- Trust Your Community: Remind yourself that community is about mutual support, and your need for help is just as valid as anyone else’s. Trust that those around you want to be there for you, just as you would for them.
- Practice Regular Check-Ins with Yourself: Notice times when you feel hesitant to ask for help. Reflect on what stops you, and gradually challenge those thoughts. Recognize that asking for help isn’t a burden on others—it’s a strength that allows you to show up authentically.
By reframing help as something positive and proactive, we normalize reaching out in everyday life, not just when things go wrong. In any community—be it your job, a parent group, or even a group of friends—there’s power in creating a safe space where everyone can lean on each other without guilt.
So, the next time you feel the urge to ask for help or someone asks for yours, think of it as participating in the natural give and take of community life. When we step up for each other, we create spaces where support flows freely, and no one has to wait until they’re in crisis to ask for it.
Let’s embrace asking for help as the strength it truly is—one that makes all of us stronger together.
