The Five Agreements – My Take on This Powerful Philosophy

A few years ago, I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and I remember finding it deeply insightful. Last year, I read The Fifth Agreement, the updated version, and it gave me even more to reflect on.

These agreements are simple yet profound, and applying them in daily life can be transformational. Here’s my take on each one:

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

In our family, we use the “three gates” to determine whether something should be said:
✅ Is it true?
✅ Is it kind?
✅ Is it necessary?

If it doesn’t pass at least two of these, it’s probably best left unsaid.

This principle isn’t just about how we speak to others—it’s also about how we speak to ourselves. Our inner dialogue can be the harshest conversation we have. If we choose our words carefully when talking to ourselves, imagine how much we could grow and heal.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.”

Taking things personally often stems from our own self-doubt. But when we build a loving relationship with ourselves, we begin to recognize that others’ actions and words are about them, not us. Instead of feeling hurt or offended, we can choose to cultivate compassion and send them love and light on their journey.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.”

Effective communication is a skill many of us were never taught. Understanding our own values, goals, expectations, and boundaries helps us express ourselves clearly.

Curiosity is key. We all come from different backgrounds, experiences, and belief systems, which shape how we see the world. Instead of assuming, ask questions. Be genuinely curious about why something matters to someone else—you’ll deepen your understanding and build stronger relationships.

4. Always Do Your Best

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.”

Self-compassion is crucial. We can’t operate at 100% all the time without burning out. Instead, we should tune into our bodies and recognize our capacity in each moment. Women, especially, experience natural fluctuations in energy levels throughout the month, and honoring that is an act of self-care.

A disconnected life leads to burnout. But when we listen to our bodies, we can redefine success—not by hustle culture standards, but by doing our best in that moment. And on slower days, we can practice self-kindness instead of self-judgment.

Use this Body & Breathe Awareness Meditation to reconnect and get in tune with your body.

5. Be Skeptical, but Learn to Listen

“Don’t believe yourself or anybody else. Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear: Is it really the truth?”

I personally don’t resonate with the word “skeptical”—it feels negative. I prefer “questioning.”

Curiosity fosters open-mindedness, a childlike sense of awe. We should question what we hear and what we believe, but we must also listen. True listening is an art. Too often, we listen just to respond rather than to truly understand.

In the digital age, we miss non-verbal cues that are crucial to communication, leading to misunderstandings. Practicing deep listening can transform our relationships and our understanding of the world around us.

Conclusion: A Path to Personal Freedom

The wisdom in The Four Agreements and The Fifth Agreement offers a powerful framework for self-awareness, growth, and meaningful relationships. When we commit to being impeccable with our word, refusing to take things personally, avoiding assumptions, always doing our best, and embracing curiosity with mindful listening, we step into a life of greater peace, resilience, and authenticity.

True transformation begins with the relationship we cultivate with ourselves. By implementing these agreements in our daily lives, we move away from self-judgment and burnout and toward a life of balance, self-compassion, and deeper connection with those around us.

Which of these agreements resonates with you the most? How can you bring more awareness to them in your daily life? Let’s continue this journey of growth and discovery together.